Dublin has become quite the capital for the fashionistas, but for some reason, the "no pants" is king. What is the "no pants," you may ask? As Amber always says, it's the undergraduate uniform. On campuses like U of I and NIU, women of all size, shape and color have decided that stretch pants and tights are just as good as what most of us consider to be pants. When or how this trend started, I don't know. But it's in Ireland, and it's big time.
Frankly, as much as I like to see the curvaceous buttocks of a sprightly young lass, there is something insidious about this fashion trend. And not just because every woman thinks she can pull this outfit off, but that so many of them really don't care if they can. I am not the slimmest of fellows, knowing that, I really don't want to subject anyone else to perusing my porkiness as I'm out and about town. Sure, I might wear just an Under Armor undershirt after working out at the gym. But no one is going to see me in that beyond the poor unfortunate souls that work at the convenience store next to my gym. People don't have to see that, and as a rational human being I'm cognisant of that. Yet somehow, Ashlee, or in this case, Aisling, has determined in all the confidence youth and inexperience brings, that you really need to see her butt cheeks hermetically sealed in black stretch pants. But uniquely Irish is that the no pants were most often accompanying a skirt, or microshorts.
Now, before you think I'm some Tim Gunn wannabe, let me reiterate that. I'm about the least fashionable person I know. I mean, I do have friends who think a Hawaiian print shirt and khaki shorts are appropriate attire for a wedding rehearsal dinner, but I digress. The fashion choice was simply vexing and most dramatically not in a good way. These 20 year-old girls would be standing in the queue for the bus in 50 degree rain with Daisy Duke microshorts over the most snug black tights one could imagine. In my head, I'm screaming, "My God, woman, they make these things called jeans!" But one of the girls in the group, I don't remember who, suggested, "well, it's too cold to show off their legs, so this is the best they could come up with." "And they don't have to shave their legs, right?" I snarkily retorted. "Yeah, that too."
After a while, the outfits became something of a uniform. It was like Eastern Europeans and acid wash jeans back in the early 200os. Sadly, I don't know if this is a wholly Irish trend, or if it suggests a European influence. While the no pants are everywhere in the States, the non-tunic microshorts is a different twist that may eventually catch on. If the trend does spread to the malls of Hoboken and Helena, God help us.
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