Reason #8 we should go to Thailand: We'll stick out like a sore thumb, and we're OK with that

I'm a big dude. Not just like, "Man, he's a big guy." More like, "Holy crud, Bessie! Theo is a BIG dude." And frankly, I'm comfortable not having much of a neck. It makes me less of a target for sunburns and vampires.

But as someone who's traveled extensively throughout Asia, I know that my ginormous frame makes stand out like the guy in the pink tux at prom, everybody notices 'em, and they sure ain't dancing with 'em. And despite the fact that I lift a lot of weights, I know perceptually in Asia, I'm fat... like water buffalo fat... like "move out the way, cuz' fatty needs to sit down" fat.

This is me carrying two railroad ties that are 200 lbs. (90.72 kg for my metric friends) a piece. Not only that, but my dreadlocks are a source of fascination even here in the States, and I'm positive I will draw stares and glares wherever we go in Chiang Mai. I expect that, but not with derision. Even with the large amount of Western tourists Chiang Mai sees, they have never seen someone like me. And all the while, my little Lisa Loeb look-a-like girlfriend Amber will be in tow.

So I jest about the "Stay" comparison, but Amber has been mistaken for all sorts o' movie stars across the sea. When she visited me in Japan, her red hair was a constant source of adoration. Every person I knew there had something to say about her, "You so pretty, like movie star!" "I love you hair! So nice!" Even with the color closer to her natural brown, I expect her to be photographed and approached on a daily basis.

But we're OK with that. We expect it, and I certainly expect children to run from me crying as they did in Xian, China. (Long story) And when the occasional mistaken identity happens, I guarantee you'll be the first to know.